My job had a square peg
To fit into a round hole.
Imagine my frustration
When I could not meet this goal.
Certain that the problem
Was a failing of my manner,
I traded in my mallet
For a shiny, larger hammer.
When that approach failed,
With my resolve unswayed,
I next sought out
A consultant of a square pegs.
He billed me for weeks
Until his conclusion was clear:
“What we really need
Is more square peg engineers.”
So we hired a team:
Developers, analysts, and testers.
But the problem remained;
No return for our investors.
A round hole consultant
Was the next to be enlisted.
He ordered twice as many hammers.
“You should use them double-fisted.”
Our efforts seemed futile
And our profits were waning.
But I could see that the answer
Was in more hammer training.
The most expensive trainers
Were sure to be the best.
Our team was HammerPlus Certified
After passing all their tests.
The peg still wouldn’t fit
So we brought in a shape expert.
We scheduled bi-daily meetings
And doubled down on effort.
He reproached us for our method-
Outdated Hammer 1.0.
“What you should be using
Is this updated approach:
Individual hammers
Is a framework that’s outdated.”
Now we know a better way,
So Hammer 2.0 was instated.
If two hands can hold a hammer,
Surely four would be much better.
The more hands per hammer,
The more you further your endeavor.
So this project ran over budget
And our manager had no recourse
But to lay off our department,
“It would be better to outsource.”
The manager earned his bonus
Using money saved from payroll.
“Thanks to your great leadership.
We’ve met our cost reduction goals.”