Synistopia

My job had a square peg
To fit into a round hole.
Imagine my frustration
When I could not meet this goal.

Certain that the problem
Was a failing of my manner,
I traded in my mallet
For a shiny, larger hammer.

When that approach failed,
With my resolve unswayed,
I next sought out
A consultant of a square pegs.

He billed me for weeks
Until his conclusion was clear:
“What we really need
Is more square peg engineers.”

So we hired a team:
Developers, analysts, and testers.
But the problem remained;
No return for our investors.

A round hole consultant
Was the next to be enlisted.
He ordered twice as many hammers.
“You should use them double-fisted.”

Our efforts seemed futile
And our profits were waning.
But I could see that the answer
Was in more hammer training.

The most expensive trainers
Were sure to be the best.
Our team was HammerPlus Certified
After passing all their tests.

The peg still wouldn’t fit
So we brought in a shape expert.
We scheduled bi-daily meetings
And doubled down on effort.

He reproached us for our method-
Outdated Hammer 1.0.
“What you should be using
Is this updated approach:

Individual hammers
Is a framework that’s outdated.”
Now we know a better way,
So Hammer 2.0 was instated.

If two hands can hold a hammer,
Surely four would be much better.
The more hands per hammer,
The more you further your endeavor.

So this project ran over budget
And our manager had no recourse
But to lay off our department,
“It would be better to outsource.”

The manager earned his bonus
Using money saved from payroll.
“Thanks to your great leadership.
We’ve met our cost reduction goals.”

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Sold yourself out
For your addiction to fear
Flattening your IQ
While you pretend to shed a tear

Never gave a damn about them
Until you bought into the plan
All expenses paid vacation
From that job you can’t stand

Now you’re a hero for Amazon
Walmart, and Netflix
Your poor corporate masters
Need support through pandemics

Hospitals must stay empty
Gotta keep them on standby
Ain’t got no billing code
If you stay at home to die

The fence around my house
Keeps the outside in a jail
Some breadcrumbs for you peasants
Just socialize by mail

Suddenly on house arrest
Your life is now a crime
Until they find a way to profit
Big Pharma needs more time

Reduced to masked bag-o-germs
With will so easy to bend
Your money stops
Where my comfort extends

Sheltered in my castle
Don’t worry, we’re “in this together”
I volunteered your future
To be sacrificed forever

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There was.
There will be.
There is not.

You were.
You will be.
You are not.

I was.
I will be.
I am not.

Past and present
Meet
At an empty intersection

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